Well here I go with my story. I am all for having the ability to have a family, no matter how we do it. I was married for 5 years and trying to conceive was just a nightmare. No matter what time of day or what cycle, it seemed like it wasn't going to happen. I found that really odd, simply because I had been pregnant previously and had a normal birth. My husband already had 2 other children from his previous marriage.

So off I went to the doctors for a smear and all the other stuff we ladies need to do, the doctor could see no reason why I could fail. He referred me to a OBGYN, for further discussions. My husband encouraged me to go.

After more testing he (the obgyn) suggested that I have a procedure called a cryotherapy*. Still nothing, so it was time for my husband to be checked. Bingo, we found the problem. He had no sperm whatsoever.

I was totally shocked. We opted for donor sperm, had a lot of talks about whether to go ahead with it or not and whether to tell the child as he/she got older.

We went on overtime and had 3 children via donor, the eldest is now 16 and the youngest 11.

Sadly to say, our marriage broke down. I discovered medical records showing that my husband had had a vasectomy 9 yrs prior to meeting me. He left that bit out, I guess...

Anyway I have 3 wonderful kids. Two of the children have known for a while how they got here, but the youngest did not. I informed her tonight and explained it the best way I could.

I was astonished by her response. She told me she was picked out and not a mistake. Pheww!

I wouldnt change anything if I had to do this again. I am now remarried but I had a hysterectomy last year so no more children for me. The best thing of all is that my new husband now wishes to adopt the children, and again their response was clearly, "Geez mum, picked twice!"

Jim's Story

My wife and I had been married for a year, and trying to get pregnant from day one, when we decided to get tested. She, luckily, was fine, but my tests showed low sperm count and motility issues. My doctor said we could probably try IVF or IUI, but when we went back for the 2nd test, the results were worse, and we were told they didn't think my sperm were suitable for IUI.

We decided to try Donor Insemination for a variety of reasons. We could do it without putting my wife on all sorts of medications, and having her go through such an invasive procedure. From our research, the results were at least as good with a 4-6 month IUI program as with doing an IVF cycle. And of course, the cost - we could afford to try IUI for a while, and then still do an IVF if we wanted. But if we did an IVF and it wasn't successful, we couldn't afford to do anything else.

We were very fortunate in that it only took us two tries, and my wife is now 25 weeks along with a little baby girl!

For the most part, I have always looked at it this way - my wife and I are having a baby, just with a little help. I feel like the father, and I'm sure that will continue after she is born. Most of our friends and family know what we are going through, which helps, too, because I can talk about it openly. There's a small part of me that, at first, was disappointed that we had to do it, but that is totally separate from the joy of seeing my wife carrying our child, and the anticipation of our beautiful baby girl being born.

I know everyone is different, but for me, and for my wife and I, we knew this was the right way to go, and haven't regretted a moment of it. I know I am going to be a father, and my daughter will know how much I love her.

We plan on letting her know as much as she can understand as soon as possible, so she grows up with this information and considers it a normal part of her life. I am a little nervous, perhaps, about the inevitable questions about her donor (I hesitate to use "dad" or "father", even with biological in front of it). We have kept all the information about her donor, and will support her curiosity in any way we can.

On Dec. 23rd, at 10:09pm, my wife and I became the happiest people on earth when our 6lb, 14oz. daughter was born!! It was an amazing experience, and I will be forever grateful to the man who donated his sperm to us, and the doctors and technology that made such a beautiful thing possible!

This is just a reminder for everyone to keep up hope! My wife and I just found out that she was pregnant again, this time the "natural" way. I guess we're living proof it only takes one :-)

My daughter born through DI recently had her 1st birthday, and she is beautiful and amazing and we are the luckiest parents in the world! We have been in contact with the parents of other children born from this same donor, and it has proven useful and interesting, though we have to be careful how much we tell some of them.